Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The Triumph of Met Expectations

Tired of tuning into TV movies and not knowing what you're in for? Titles like ARTIFICIAL LIES and VOICES FROM WITHIN just too oblique to commit two hours of your life to?

Try these, actual titles spotted on Lifetime during some guide-surfing this weekend:

SHE'S TOO YOUNG

BABY FOR SALE

A quick pass of their website turned up a few more:

HER BEST FRIEND'S HUSBAND

MY STEPSON, MY LOVER

STOLEN BABIES

HER MARRIED LOVER

BABY BROKERS (clearly an Issue of Interest to the Lifetime audience)

As an aside, aliens uncovering the ash-choked ruins of our civilization will, upon dusting off the scorched vault of Lifetime TV movies, draw the not unreasonable conclusion that the female of our species was all about murder, kidnapping, love affairs with wholly unsuitable people, mental illness, facing adversity with pluck, and occasionally buying or selling babies. We all also looked liked Gabrielle Carteris. Or, on a good day, Daphne Zuniga.

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